Nightwatch
by fiesa
Summary: Waking up in the middle of the night because someone is there is either scary or comforting. Waking up because someone is not there is terrifying. Nudge has experienced all too often... And she hates it. OneShot.


**Nightwatch**

_Because I haven´t uploaded a Maximum Ride fan fiction for a long time (at least in what feels like a long time) and because I just read vol2 of the manga adaption by Narae Lee and I´m practically squealing every time I look at the cover (I know it has been published a few months already in the US but please keep in mind - as much as I love Germany, the delay resulting in the translation process sucks. And importing the English ones takes its time and cost, so...)_**  
**_Fang´s on the cover! Yay! And he´s soooooo awesome! *laugh* I told you, I´m squealing. His hair! His beautiful hair! All gone! *sob* And... Did I mention he is ab-freakin-lutely awesome?^^_

_I don´t own Maximum Ride. Huh. Just might as well tell you._

_Summary: Waking up in the middle of the night because someone is there is either scary or comforting. Waking up because someone isn´t there is something Nudge has experienced all too often... And she hates it._

_Set: Somewhere shortly after "Fang", so spoilers. Minor ones. For those who haven´t read the book yet... If you haven´t I recommend you go read it first! But I don´t listen to my own advice, so why should you.^^ If you read it anyway, I´m really, really happy.  
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* * *

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Nudge was eight years old – almost nine – when she woke up in the middle of the night for the first time by the _absence_ of something. There was the soft noise of wind in curtains as it entered trough the halfway open window and Angel´s deep breathing, and somehow Nudge knew Gazzy and Iggy and Fang were sleeping deeply, too, in the next room. What was missing – _who _was missing – was Max.

It was the night after Max had told them they´d have to accept the truth: Jeb would never return. He was dead.

* * *

Now, ten years, seven safe houses, three failed attempts to attend a regular school, five tries to live like normal humans, one failed attempt to become celebrities, a huge number of donuts, three mad scientists and seven Uber-Directors and Mister Chu´s and Doctor Frankensteins, something like a million fights for their lives, three speeches in congress, hundred and seven demonstrations, fifty-six assassination-attempts, one successful try to separate them from each other and one unsuccessful try to divide the flock later, she had lost count of the times she´d already woken up and found Max had left for a night-flight again.

They all knew Max flew when she had to think things over, cool off a bit or just be alone for a while. But only Nudge knew she mostly left at night. Maybe she just didn´t want to sleep, maybe she didn´t need to sleep. However, Nudge found it hard to even be able to sleep whenever Max wasn´t there.

She tried to see it as a kind of night watch her flock leader kept up. She should be able to sleep better, knowing Max was out there, guarding them. But it wasn´t that easy. Nothing ever was that easy.

* * *

"Max?", Nudge whispered and landed silently next to her. Her wings rustled and touched her leader´s wings. They both had reached a wingspan of fifteen feet. Iggy´s, Gazzy´s and Dylan´s measured sixteen and a half, and Fang´s…

Max glared at her in the dim light of the moon.

"Have you been following me?"

"No!", she protested, then amended. "Well… Yes. Are you alright?"

"What´s with that question? Of course I´m fine, Nudge. You worry too much."

"And you lie too much", she replied, tired and angry and suddenly sick of still being treated like a twelve-year-old child. "I know you´re not fine, Max. Everyone knows. But you don´t let us help. Instead, you sneak away at night and believe we don´t worry when we wake up and find you gone."

Defiance? "I´m always back in the morning."

"Have you ever thought of the fact that some of us might wake up while you´re gone?" Nudge leaned back and returned her challenging stare. "It happened before, Max. Remember the time when you left at night and your Mom was kidnapped? Or when you were shot and abducted by that first Mr. Chu? We didn't know what happened, we were so worried!"

The only thing she receives is a hard stare.

"I´m the flock leader, Nudge. I don´t have to tell _anyone_ where I´m going and why."

"You might be the flock leader!", Nudge yelled. "But we sure as hell aren´t some bunch of children any longer! We´re family, we help each other! We decide together! We confide in each other! You forget we´re not the burden you have to carry anymore, Max. We´re as able as you are to live our own lives."

Silence.

A whole new universe without a sound.

Then Max says: "I never said you were a burden."

"No, but you thought so. And maybe we were, because we were kids – we all were kids, Max. But we aren´t any longer. We´re adults, and we´re able to make our own decisions. We decided to stay with you. But you have to come forward, too."

Another eon passes.

"Okay, so let´s suppose I´m not fine. What am I supposed to tell you?"

Nudge is so relieved she almost forgets to reply. This is a new Max – a Max that asks for help, a Max that accepts that Nudge and Gazzy and Iggy and Angel and Dylan aren´t a _job_, a responsibility, but her _family._

"How about "I´m lonely"?", she suggests.

Max chokes. "I´d never say that."

"Are you?"

Having her _not _answer is answer enough.

"You still miss him", Nudge states quietly. Max doesn´t move. It´s as if she fears she´ll break down if she uses a single muscle.

"It´s years ago since Fang left", Nudge continues. "We all miss him. But I guess… It´s worse for you. We understand that. But it doesn´t help that you try to behave as if we never knew him, you know? You don´t have to talk about him, but telling Iggy and Gazzy to shut up every time they talk about him isn´t helpful. And you have to stop trying to decide everything by your own. And you have to stop leaving at night. You need to sleep. Dylan´s getting twitchy because you´re so tired every day."

"He´s _not._ I´m not._"_

"He is. You are. And…" She wonders whether she really should say it. "And I can´t sleep when you´re not there."

Max sighs. Nudge hopes she has understood. The sheer terror washing through her every time she wakes up and sees Max´s empty bed isn´t something she wants the others to experience.

She looks at Max and sees her biting her lower lip.

"It´s hard", she says gently. "But you still have us. We´re all with you, Max."

Max gives a tiny, almost imperceptible, nod. Nudge feels relief floating her entire being. She smiles at the older woman.

"Let´s get back. We´re leaving early tomorrow, remember? Let´s catch some sleep."

Max follows her as she launches herself into the air. Soon, they´re both back in their beds.

* * *

Nudge closes her eyes and listens to Max´s breath. After a while, it turns into quiet sobs, into short and violent choking. Nudge climbs out of her bed and lies down next to Max, wrapping her arms around her. Soon, Angel joins them. Iggy and the other boys enter, as well, and sit down on the floor quietly.

They all hold her until Max falls into an exhausted sleep. And this time it´s them who watch over Max´s sleep.

From that day, Nudge, Angel, Gazzy, Iggy and Dylan take turns. And Max surrenders to their determination to finally be the ones to take care of _her_. They take care of each other. Like in a family.

But she´s still the flock leader.

_And always will be._

_So fly on._


End file.
